| milestone birthday has got me down |
[Sep. 30th, 2006|02:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
I've always wanted to be older, wiser, and yet, the saying "29 and holding" has become passe this year. I had my annual exam the other day. Just the thought of it, I studied myself in the mirror a little closer. Wrinkles from age and from weight loss. I've been told they "build character." My slummpy tummy (no longer sleek and sexy) from two wonderful births -- Am I so shallow to desire a tummy tuck. I've been doing pilates for weeks. Yes, I finally have some abdominal muscles, but not nearly enough to pull up that loose-fitting waistline. Sunaged skin, spider veins, frazzled & frizz-ball dry hair, where has the beauty gone? where? Even my hearing is starting down-hill. I don't want to gripe, but gripping here is tolerated...
With age comes maturity and experience. Something's a plus. With my career, both are welcome where youth and beauty are fine, but dignity is like wine. And so, I've found in the past few months, I have been given more respect from my colleuges, and there is no "gripping or whinning" around them about age--as they are twice my senior. And Mary Kay will help hide the signs of age on my face.
For the first time in a really long time, DD let me rock her to sleep last night. I shared with her a new nite-time routine which she loves. We step outside and say "good nite trees," "good nite grass," "good night moon," and "stars," "houses," and "cars." I took her back inside to the livingroom and embrassed her, breathing in that soft, sweet smell of tearless shampoo. And I told her for the first time that I can remember, the story of her birth. She was so quiet, and listed and took it all in. I loved every minute of our time together. Then she lay her head on my elbow and softly and sweetly fell fast asleep. Today, she pulled out a photo album and looked at pictures from when she was a tiny baby and I thought, maybe she knows...
DS is growing fast. He has more to say than ever. I have to train myself to stop, look at him, and listen fully to his stories. He is kind and gentle. A good big brother. He loves to play by himself and equally as much with his sister. Yes, they can quarral like siblings...
DH is my rock. He and I share a deep and strong understanding for each other. Yesterday, he told me that I can be selfish sometimes. He knows I've struggled for years with a calling, and reminded me that when it is time for me to answer, he and the kids will go with me. That reassurance is a blessing. I want to do what is right for my family.
As you see, I struggle with being me, being a mom, wife and career woman. I have a very full life. I will do my best to embrase my new winkles and my age~perhaps I'll find a new kind of beauty in it all. |
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| made it through hella-time |
[Aug. 8th, 2006|07:52 pm] |
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well, things are looking better, and looking back it would seem things happen for a reason. i've had a pretty good summer and it is almost time for school to begin! oh, joy! |
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| Rollercoaster |
[Apr. 30th, 2006|02:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  recumbent | ] |
Well, If it hadn't been for March was really an okay month, I'm starting to think that April came in like a lion and is going out like a lamb. It brought plenty of showers too. So, what's that all about. I've been riding the emotional rollercoaster. But, things are looking up.
More to come. |
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| f-ing smile |
[Apr. 17th, 2006|09:50 pm] |
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It's hard for me to smile. My boss, the person who trusted that I'd be a benefit to the organization announced Fri that his position has been terminated and his last day is Wed. What a symbolic thing on Good Friday. I respect him. It is easy to like someone, but respect is another (completely different thing). It's not like I'm obsessed with him. I'll be able to move on. But, he's been like a mentor for me for 5 months. It is really hard to want to say goodbye. I had PTO today, so it started at the farm with my folks. DH is at a workshop 4 hours from home, and I wanted some help entertaining the kiddos. Who better than DGMA & DGPA! DS was having fun playing Hungry, Hungry Hippo & Cootie. DD was fine, until after lunch. I looked at her and noticed goop coming out of her eye! phuck! I had to take her to the Dr. only to find out that she contracted "pink eye." DS has been washing his hands frequently, as he doesn't want to get "blue eye!" as he thinks it would be for a boy. Bless his heart. At least he can make me laugh. Tommorrow is going to blow! I can't f-ing wait. |
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| A Great Party |
[Mar. 11th, 2006|04:17 pm] |
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Hi friends. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update. Life has been fairly crazy. The kids have adjusted to me working though and the kinks that originally created have been smoothed out. I enjoy work, and love my co-workers. One of whom is getting married on the 31st in North Carolina, so we partied for her last night. Found a cool night club in GF and closed down the bar. I had quite a bit to drink, let down my hair, head-banged, enjoyed a suprise of live music, and totally rocked out. It was a great time, and a nice, needed break from reality. Grandma took the kids last night out to the farm for the weekend. One of the best parts of being closer!!! So, DH and I have really been enjoying our freedom today. Not much else is really "new" with us, but we are constantly looking for fun, and finding it pretty easy. Love to you all. ~D |
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| Pizza Hut |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|09:39 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
Perhaps it is the season. Perhaps it is just our luck. We're not sure, but it made us laugh...
On Fri. DH got some really good news, so we decided by the flip of a coin to go to Pizza Hut. We had a really good time, and as our time there was winding down, DS got up and started running around the restaurant (full speed) in a circle to run by every single table. Upon his return, DH said, "Well, I think it's time you sit down." And DS responded full cheer, "Well, Giddy Up, Cowboy!" Laughter broke out at our table and others.
Then, DD desided to stand up in her highchair and throw herself backwards (headed for a backwards dive onto the floor). DH & I noticed this at the exact same time and each spared one had to save her from the fall, which we did. However, DH had in his hand a full Pepsi, which he released into the air to save her. Pepsi went everywhere. Again, laughter broke out. |
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| Merry Christmas everyone! |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|10:54 pm] |
Yes, something I don't get to say at work is anything religious. Well, we've been super busy here. About 1 hour per day is spent getting kids in and out of coats, boots, mittens and hats. We got dumped on two weekends ago (18 inches of powder snow) ~ a skier's delight! But hard on the moms and pops of little ones. They are so cute bundled up for winter though. One big disappointment though was the snow. It hasn't been just right for making snow people. Then we got a ton of wind. With below zero temps and wind, the snow drifts into these big hard drifts. Makes it a ton of fun to drive on too! But keeps the folks working disasters and emergencies on their toes.
Not much newsy news here. Just wanted to say hello.
Love to all. ~OAS |
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| work inside vs. outside the home |
[Nov. 15th, 2005|09:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | satisfied | ] |
The debate will go on, won't it folks. Well, here's a woman who has had the best of the stay-at-home-mom phaze, and equally ready to jump into work (and it feels like I'm jumping in right where I left off).
Yes, it was hard at first to peel DS off my suit jacket as he clung to it four out of five days of my first week. Wait, the fifth day was a holiday, so I guess it was every day of my first week of work. And little DD, so cute and innocent, waiving bye-bye to mommy every morning gave me chills. But lo and behold! We survived. And now, the kids are ready in the mornings to go to "L----'s" house! They even have to get dressed to the winter coats, hats and mittens, as we are experienceing bitter cold in Montana. And at the end of the day, much to DH's surprise, the kids hide from him when he's there to pick them up. And at dinner say they miss "L----!" So, I guess somewhere deep inside, I was right. They can, and will be okay with me working.
So, now, about my job. I'm the Public Support Manager for a well-known non-profit. I'm not sure they want me posting on the internet about it, so I'll keep that part on the low-down. However, it is a great job. Highly sought after. And I had to put a competitive edge on of sorts to get it in the first place. I'll be working closely with donors, and therefore, it is very sensitive, but essential work. And I feel good about it at the end of the day.
My work environment is very friendly, and my co-workers have strived to invite me into the job so I really do feel at home.
And at the end of the day, I'm spending time with my children. Something, I'm not sure was done so directly when I was staying at home -- as the last 6 months or so, my full-time job was unpaid as I was moving a household and finding employment! |
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| celebrating womanhood |
[Oct. 16th, 2005|02:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  rejuvenated | ] |
I had the distinct priviledge of getting away from the busyness of my own family to spend a whole Saturday with my Dmom to hang out at the Second Annual What Women Want Expo in Great Falls. It was an action packed day. We missed out on the line dancing, but engaged in seminars on stretching for life and pilates. We also had the wonderful opportunity to listen to Ann Jillian speak ~ so wonderful. She made us laugh and cry. It was powerful. We also had the opportunity to meet several women from MT who have joined together fundraising for breast cancer and other female cancers awareness.
Not to mention, the pampering along the way. Many the freebee and many the brochure, magnets, pencils, etc. But through it all, I saw many women all of whom were doing nothing more than enjoying being a woman! It was wonderful to share that with my mom.
Now, I have a little better idea of what women really want. I'm celebrating this month all of my women friends. As a mom and wife, I had really downplayed my feminism; but I'm working hard to embrace it in every aspect of my life. |
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| House closing! |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|10:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
yea~ Tom and Dawn are finally homeowners! We made the giant leap last Tuesday, and have been super busy ever since. Moving stuff from storage, moving stuff from the farm, moving stuff, unpacking boxes, cleaning, buying paint, etc.
Hopefully I'll be able to upload a couple of pictures in a week or so!
Love to you all.
OAS |
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